FREETOWN CHRONICLES: YOUTH VS. STATE

........i run into a couple of friends at a resto-bar in town. One of my favourite private spots in the always colourful 'downtown'  city of Freetown. It is raining outside and i am talking about relationships with a friend of mine who has recently engaged his girlfriend of 2 years. His happiness and easiness makes me uneasy, i smirk at his smile, he remains gentle with me and makes another order of roast beef. Amidst our chatter we start talking to a group of people sitting beside our table. Our discussion moves from bumming a smoke to one of politics, youth mobilizatation, development and the mentalities of a younger generation of Sierra-Leoneans. We laugh some more and begin to enjoy each other's  company.

Freetown Chronicles II: Lust & Love.

A friend gave me an advice when I first arrived to Freetown. His deep set eyes looked into mine as he quite sternly said, “don’t date for at least 6 months, trust me, you need that time to see who is who and what is what.” Of course as it often goes with advice that we know stems from wisdom unbeknown to us, it went right out the window. What that meant was, 6 months later found me in the folds of my cousin’s arms, sobbing or been rather dramatic about some man who had ever so dramatically broken my “heart”. “I really thought we connected,” I relayed to my cousin in a matter of fact manner. My cousin sympathetic but rather unmoved if not bored altogether, simple patted my back and said, “na so den tan na ya”. I have heard this phrase one to often “na so den tan na ya”, this is how they are. One, according to many women I speak with, cannot trust any (been the men of Sierra-Leone) of them; therefore go in protecting yourself, fully. I am still attempting to grapple with that ideology, because what on earth is the point of it all then?  Is the deceit, misrepresentation, gross and continuous dishonesty simply a Sierra-Leonean Phenomenon? Is it an African thing? or is it a universal pandemic only manifested differently based on context. Do African men truly operate differently?

Freetown Chronicles I: I'm Coming Home

Why do we come back home? After the first mandatory difficult year one will endure once they return home, i am making a trip down memory lane in attempts to consolidate some interesting conversations i've had over the year.  One that always finds itself into many conversations when your accent has a semblance of difference is:  why do we return, from where do we return, and for how long is the return back home?  For some, its a choice. A conscious decision to want to, desire to, need to come home and give back, rejuvenate, be re-inspired, build a foundation, start a business, or one short lovely holiday is enough to choose to make home a home permanenatly. For others, its not a choice its due to family issues, deportation, exhaustion, lack of opportunities out 'there', depression and other types of pressures. The lucky few who make trips in and out of the country, existing in between two worlds and happen to find the balance satisfying, say its a blessing.  For others, home will have to be home for a very long time.

a day

a day under the sun- willingly-

the afternoon was relaxing.

remaining amused.

water

sun

laughter

....sans great food.

otherwise

much needed.

May Sunshine

fambul dem this is how we do....

I'M COOL. I'M GREEN.

 see my elation as i parked my car next to the once mounting pile of garbage that the inhabitants of Cuckuil Bay in freetown complacently live beside. Men were standing around, some sitting and watching into a non-existent far distance and some were bending down cleaning the remnants of a very large and i assure you, very large pile of "doty" that once served as a landmark for the area. I begin to take pictures, and the man sitting down asks me to introduce myself and my reasons for snapping the scene, he the self-proclaimed leader of this initiative must know my intentions. The man must be out of his mind, the fact that i was even standing their with some form of glee should be enough. Ha! i explained that i was happy that the community was finally cleaning the space up. He said the government gave them some money to do so. My smile disappears, it would have taken the government for me to want to get rid of that pile of pure and undiluted rubbish that was lazily sitting there for months on end. I leave the scene after some displays of vanity (see photos below) disappointed.

Post-Elation | Cukuil Bay, Freetown

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SABRE

Photo Credit: Omar Khan

 All of life is intended to beautify the believer.

When he's mistreated he learns patience.

When he's tried, he gets purified.

And when he's blessed, he becomes grateful.

Then when he returns to God,

He returns patience, purified, and grateful.

  - Yasmin Magahed

Photo Credit: Omar Khan

THE 5TH TING! HER ROYALTY: DAY 1.

 

Government Waft-Freetown

This what i know of life, the only thing i know of life is- it HAPPENS. Each day is unpredictable, however much you want to make the unpredictable, predictable and even when it seems predictable it really isn't and i suppose that sometimes means one isn't really paying attention. As my work piles up, my exhaustion flows within, i am also filled with the appreciation of 'being at the right place at the right time'. So apparently, i will be spending the next couple of days with her royal highness, Princess Basma Bint Saud, who is a women's right activist, avid blogger, patron to the arts, business woman and most importantly a woman dedicated to humanizing the humanity of the vulnerable. As we sat on the ferry ride from Lungi to Freetown, she smiles and speaks frankly through her jet lag about humanity, women's issues, power and her love for the arts. "Power shouldn't be given, that dynamic isn't empowering. Power should be shared, it must be shared".  

 

Princess Basma Bint Saud

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Her first time in freetown, Sierra-Leone, she will be spending the next couple of days meeting various dignitaries like His Excellency, our President Ernest Bai Koroma and our  first lady Sia Koroma. She will also be acting as a guest speaker at our Women's Day rally, visiting up country and hopefully she excitedly explains, meeting artists and designers. She insists she loves the art.

the aiport-Lungi, Sierra-Leone

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i am back in freetown, exhausted and doing a write up for the woman who brought me on this project (more on her in posts to come) as i slightly chuckle, this was not the week i envisioned. To be given the opportunity to take a personal documentation on the Princess visit to Sierra-Leone as she meets our heads of state & the locals who make up this resilient and yet so paradoxical of a place...the land we love..this was not penned into my dairy....but:

finally on the shores of freetown-post 23minute ferry ride

fambul dem this is how we do....

BLAME IT ON THE 'MAN'

been here plenty of times before. asking friends for advice that i will not use, asking God for guidance that i will choose to ignore, calling my mother and rambling on despite her sighs of exasperation that can clearly be translated to " where did i go wrong", to finally calling one of my sisters just because i need one more extra set of ears to listen to my painstakingly easy to solve "man problem". I must share a conversation that REVOLUTIONIZED my perspective, in-fact the self awareness/light/aah-moment/great big heavy hard smack across the face could not be missed. Here is the summarized version:

man= certified A-HOLE

me-the woman= certified bad choice maker.

man says to me: 

  white women are easier to date

me: why?

man: because they are easier to get rid of

me: what do you mean

man: well, black women have this maternal caring complex, they just don't get it

me: so what are you trying to say

man: that ....i'm an asshole to you, if you knew better you wouldn't be here right now

and yes folks, it hadn't sunk in just yet..i continued to sit there..

man: no, like, i think you are the type of woman who knows you can get any man she wants, but you keep coming back to me because its not so easy with me, i can be an asshole and you like it. Girl, you aren't going anywhere. 

translation: i keep you on reserve, conditioned to my hot & cold, and you don't respect/love yourself to know better

me: yes i can get any man i want (like really/duh?) but i do keep coming back to you..

man: yes because with me you can't really ever have me.....

.......that was actually almost word for word our conversation

why do i still do back? the million dollar question that has haunted me for the last couple of days, his reasoning, is so off it couldn't even see the truth if it stood right directly in front of it...so WHY?

.....because i/we as woman and men even, just simply get stuck in making consciously bad/unhealthy/not self serving choices. He has no really power, great mental, physical, emotional impact or affect in my life, NOT REALLY  anyway, but i continue to deprive myself of making healthy choices that DEMAND relationships (romantic) or otherwise that truly and profoundly are beautiful, nurturing, and simply hella dope. it you are going to be a complete self serving, confused, slightly delusional prick, at least have the decency to be dripping of swagg-goo( tehehe, i just really want to use that line).

point been, today I....and small i and YOU and small you need to make CHOICES that are nurturing- finiancially ( yes i said it), spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.

ya dig?

fambul dem this is how we do...