THERE ARE

There are places and spaces and moments and walls that know of a consecrated love. There are houses that have become love holding woman together while she births her child into present existence, wide, open, pink, eyes re-adjusting to the complexity of this holy temple named universe. There are feet that walk to seek that age when lips touched, hands held, movement in the body unexplainable. There are places, rocks, flowers, tender tender leaves, clever clouds, a bright moon deeming sun that act as backdrops to the “when” meeting of two eyes, communicating, flow flawless. There are fears that loom above streets that ache to love still—erasing images of spilled blood, ancestral violence ushering in forgiveness-spirits boundless. There are palms stained with human internal matter, collages everlasting, the guns, machetes, swords, wires configure a current that electrifies memory. There are minds that travel far to retrieve and rescue touch-sensual, vulnerable, a breath that holds, a release that forgives. There are winds that carry the sage secrets of love-in love-out to countries, lands, lovers, mothers, men, walls, buildings, spirits- forgiveness distributed freely, fear discarded simply, faith restored bravely, their lives love.

fambul dem this is how we do...

BLAME IT ON THE 'MAN'

been here plenty of times before. asking friends for advice that i will not use, asking God for guidance that i will choose to ignore, calling my mother and rambling on despite her sighs of exasperation that can clearly be translated to " where did i go wrong", to finally calling one of my sisters just because i need one more extra set of ears to listen to my painstakingly easy to solve "man problem". I must share a conversation that REVOLUTIONIZED my perspective, in-fact the self awareness/light/aah-moment/great big heavy hard smack across the face could not be missed. Here is the summarized version:

man= certified A-HOLE

me-the woman= certified bad choice maker.

man says to me: 

  white women are easier to date

me: why?

man: because they are easier to get rid of

me: what do you mean

man: well, black women have this maternal caring complex, they just don't get it

me: so what are you trying to say

man: that ....i'm an asshole to you, if you knew better you wouldn't be here right now

and yes folks, it hadn't sunk in just yet..i continued to sit there..

man: no, like, i think you are the type of woman who knows you can get any man she wants, but you keep coming back to me because its not so easy with me, i can be an asshole and you like it. Girl, you aren't going anywhere. 

translation: i keep you on reserve, conditioned to my hot & cold, and you don't respect/love yourself to know better

me: yes i can get any man i want (like really/duh?) but i do keep coming back to you..

man: yes because with me you can't really ever have me.....

.......that was actually almost word for word our conversation

why do i still do back? the million dollar question that has haunted me for the last couple of days, his reasoning, is so off it couldn't even see the truth if it stood right directly in front of it...so WHY?

.....because i/we as woman and men even, just simply get stuck in making consciously bad/unhealthy/not self serving choices. He has no really power, great mental, physical, emotional impact or affect in my life, NOT REALLY  anyway, but i continue to deprive myself of making healthy choices that DEMAND relationships (romantic) or otherwise that truly and profoundly are beautiful, nurturing, and simply hella dope. it you are going to be a complete self serving, confused, slightly delusional prick, at least have the decency to be dripping of swagg-goo( tehehe, i just really want to use that line).

point been, today I....and small i and YOU and small you need to make CHOICES that are nurturing- finiancially ( yes i said it), spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.

ya dig?

fambul dem this is how we do...

I SEE COLORS & OKADAS

I'm a huge fan of Bliss Patisserie on 110 Wilkinson Road, their salads are refreshing and after my slightly dubious Friday night out, i needed a hide away. An avocado banana milkshake,  grilled vegetables accompanied with fried chicken did the trick. This is how the world looked to me on Saturday afternoon (see photographs below), as aforementioned, i blame the rudeness performed on Friday evening. While waiting for my food, i stumbled upon this article

An “okadised” society: implications on teenage pregnancy in Sierra Leone

I must preface this blog post with, please click on the link to read the entire report, Sierra-Leonean journalism always always has me in stitches by the end of the read regardless of how serious (or not) the subject matter is- the style of writing is ---priceless. But I digress, back to Okadisation, which in actuality is problematic. Now, I am easily seduced ( as are a plethora of people in Sierra-Leone) to go on an endless rant about my deep dislike/distaste of Okadas and Okada drivers alike. However, Okadisation according to this article is the 

the shift from traditional trekking to Okada riding between places. Sierra Leoneans no longer fancy walking; which has enormous health benefits but are rapidly cultivating the practice of moving around by Okada. In the pre-Okada era, students trekked, for example from Magburaka to Mathora government girls school (about 6 miles round trip), in the Tonkolili district. This is no more the practice in today’s school going pupils, making it an economically challenged practice for their poor relatives. Most parents can’t afford giving both lunch and Okada service fees on a daily basis to their children.

So instead, some young ladies got creative and:

“ [entered] into transactional sex with these riders to ferry them between their homes and schools as well as supplementing their ‘lunch’ at school.

In essence, this equates to high TEENAGE PREGANCIES BY THE OKADA BOYS COMMUNITY. I declare CONDOMS FOR OKADAZITION | A CLEVER INITIATIVE. If you support, please comment.

Fambul dem this is how we do…

My Random Market Buy

Bliss Coffee- Much Needed

Bliss Patisserie-Outside

 

I BLAME THE BRITISH FOR OUR CLASSIST SOCIETY or PERHAPS MY LIBERAL ARTS EDUCATION

I never quite understood the concept of 'human rights'. Whenever a friend of mine decides to pursue a Masters Degree in Human Rights, i remain perplexed, because i don't quite know what that means. I am also quite sure, neither do they, not always anyway. I saw this ad today in the Awareness Newspaper, SIERRA-LEONE CALLS FOR WOMEN TO LEAD THE FIGHT ON RIGHTS. In my cocoon of a second home (see photos below), i wake up most mornings to a coffee, light breakfast and the love of my life, my decaying MacBook, with a view that continually leaves one slightly breathless. The point isn't to go on about my blessings or whatever else, but rather, i am still quite preoccupied with attempting to understand the concept of RIGHT/S. 

Human rights in Sierra-Leone, (for example), how do we begin to talk about the human right or the right to_______________________ that every Sierra-Leonean should be entitled to when there is a blantant lack of acknowledging of  our basic humanity ( we were colonized by the British, hierarchy & class  is what enables & sustains our society). 

WOMEN TO FIGHT FOR THE RIGHTS, which women? When most of the women who speak on behalf of all women in Sierra-Leone are often quite privileged, and don't don't openly about things like:

1. prostitution and protecting the rights of prostitutes (they are humans too right)...and they are constantly going missing...

2. rape/sexual violation, victims/survivors of rape are often from more impoverished  backgrounds( we all know rape doesn't ONLY happen to 'poor' people)

3. taking steps to openly talk about sexuality/sexual empowerment/self empowerment for both women and men.

4. Ageism 

5. sexual orientation

But are very vocal about things like:

1. 30% parliamentary vote for women 

2. education ( of course/but what kind of education?)

3. Bondo, Female Cutting

This fight is difficult, i get that, but what rights can we talk about when we aren't very inclusive, accessible, open about everything, and creative in how we engage the public and women across all sexual orientations, religious practices, class & race lines. Yes, please involve Lebanese Sierra-Leone women too....

But, then again...i spend my mornings like this....

fambul dem this is how we do....

Vintage Bracelet-from Paris-Nikitta Shallop

Welcoming In the Morning

YO BLACKIE- YOU FREE?

My Co-TedxFreetown organizer and i sat to chat vision TEDxFREETOWN over a bottle of wine and the cool freetown evening breeze. Of course we swam across many seas, danced on mountain tops of dreams, played orchestra with the finest of instruments somewhere in Vienna, detoured to South Africa and ....you get the gist, before actually reaching the conversation about our up coming conference, we had many more things we wanted to talk about. The conversation came to a sad halt when we talked about freedom, and what that meant for young women, us, living here in freetown. What freedom meant in general for black women, for black men, for black communities living on this plain of existence, are we free? The question was haunting, dark and at the same time hopeful. TO CONTEXTUALIZE:

We asked one another why we continue to live in our home country, the CHOICE we make to stay here in Sierra-Leone, a land we love, a land that does not nourish nor cultivate our freedom most of the time. Why? Like my mother would flippantly respond, "Y has a long tail Fatou". What i have come to understand from that rhetoric now is, their are many reasons to the question why, one answer would not do it justice.

Why are we here ( decide to come to our home country).

 Ans: why (Y) has a long tail. an assortement of reasons would answer that question

Why do we stay?

  Ans: some say its a bug we catch, once we leave the country, we just want to come back because and despite it all. Others say, this is the only home/country they have, just like family you deal with the card God dealt you. Others, a profound love for the country, while for others, MONEY TO BE MADE/IS BEEN MADE/IS MADE. And for some of us, I included, i ride the hormonal tide of HOPE of the POSSIBLE, the infinite possibilities for creation and creativity.  It is possible, but the odds i promise are highly and finely stacked.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO...FREEDOM:

my cousin took the photography you see below. I like the shot, it finely capture's my emotion. I crave utter freedom to be all that i am every day, every where, any day any where. Totally Me: flighty, a hopeless romantic, a lover, sensitive, vulnerable, strong, manipulative, funny, weird....creative. EVERY DAY, EVERY WHERE. My country doesn't foster that in the here and now. To survive here, one must almost have to be: smart, careful, wary, family oriented, spiritual, un-trusting, and well fortified (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically). Oh and you must act, wear, love, eat and speak in a specific way...those bounds are confining within a  social-cultural structure, and i assure you, just doing you is a luxury most black people, especially women cannot always afford, anywhere in the world to be quite honest.

Photography: Rose Lamin

so i ask again...what is freedom and HOW are you enacting your freedom everyday? As a self identified woman/man/person of color-based on your geographical, soci-economic, religious, political make up---how does freedom flourish within your being?

fambul dem this is how we do....

africa isn't poor-just mismanaged

brown e-star sun glasses-best knock offs ever

why i decided paying $69.90 for an unframed photograph was a good idea last night, only Allah knows. I decided this morning if i am going to be this frivolous ( no no its beautiful photography, i'll post a framed version of it up when its ready), i might as well balance it up by paying $2.50 for knock off sun glasses, the brown version of the classic BLACK E-STAR. For those of you who live in Sierra-Leone and love those glasses, they are out of stock. Yes, no longer in production or rather, no longer supplied in freetown. This is the type of news and almost nonsensical blog posts that balance real world news, like Tunisia's 1 year ousting celebrations, South Sudan's Revenge attacks that killed 57 people... oh and President Koroma's grand opening of the newly re-branded NP petrol station at Congo Cross. Everyone is super excited about our fancy petrol station....if you are wondering, fuel prices are still going up. But hey, all that glitters usually gets the masses thinking its gold.

fambul dem this is how we do....