as 2012 approaches

As 2011 grew closer, I found myself at a birthday party of stranger who later became a friend, surrounded by her family and friends in a city I was beginning to detest and become uncomfortable in. Another year I found myself thinking, what will it hold? The first couple of months of 2011  were spent escaping, dreaming, plotting, facing challenges and re-thinking all that I had come to know. I also moved back into my parent’s house in the country I was born but had never really lived in. many things happened, I finally graduated after 5 years of a grueling and sometimes seemingly pointless undergraduate degree ( I left school for about a 6 months hence the delay). 2011 also found me in the midst of  making new friends, appreciating the one’s I’ve known for over 10 years with a new found verity and of course, as with everything, ending some friendships in order to truly move forward.  The year proved difficult, frustrating and yet I come out of it evolved, I can feel it innately and I embrace it whole-heartedly.

In the process of so much change this year, the revolutions accruing all around the world as people across the globe demand social, economic and political change that led to the deaths of many, I also lost my grandmother, who before she passed away said her heart was too full and thus nothing else could be said. Even though she died at a ripe old age, she had witnessed too much, carried too much, lost too much, she was tired and with God’s will decided it was time to leave this existence. I know now my coming home was destined, I have always hoped and prayed to see my grandmother before she passed away. God’s been good, all her grandchildren at some point during the year visited her; she said her goodbyes and left us. Amidst the turmoil, the deaths, the economic strain, the social challenges, the political turnaround and the impermanence of things stood as a resounding lesson thus reinforcing that conditions aren’t permanent, nothing lasts forever and we pay a price for everything.

I may not still know exactly what I want for myself, but I do know this much, I refuse to compromise. As 2012 approaches, I pray for good health, strength, wisdom and the grace to continue on the journey of creatively expressing self, discovering self, and most importantly, loving self. This time around, no New Year resolutions, everything is a process, if I can see it and desire it, then I must demand it and stand willing to do the work that will lead me to my goals.

All I know for sure is that I/we have a choice amidst any circumstance thrown or given to us, there is choice and character emerges from the choices we make and how we choose to learn from our choices.

A prosperous new year to you.

Fambul dem this is how we do..